On Beauty II

From one of my seniors:

For attractive lips

Speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes,

Seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure,

Share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair,

Let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise,

Walk with the knowledge that you will never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived,

reclaimed, and redeemed;

Never throw out anybody.

Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,

The figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,

Because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,

But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows.

And the beauty of a woman, with passing years, only grows

On Beauty

From one of my seniors:

Have you ever wondered why so many people who were bright and beautiful as children, however, as they grew older their innocence and beauty eluded them? Well, wonder no more: Shaykhul-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah (rahimahullaah) explains to us:

“The person who is righteous and honest, his honesty is manifest from the radiance on his face, and his honesty can be known from the glow that is on his face, likewise the (opposite for the) sinful one and the liar. The older a person gets, the more this sign becomes apparent. Thus a person as a child would have a bright face, however if he becomes a sinful person, adamant on committing sins, at the older stages in his life, an ugly face would manifest that which he used to internalise, and the opposite is also true.”

It has been narrated that Ibn Abbaas (radiyallaahu ‘anhu) said, ‘ Indeed righteousness illuminates the heart, radiates the face, strengthens the body, increases provision, and produces a love in the hearts of the creation for that person. Whereas sinfulness darkens the heart, greys the face, weakens the body, and produces hatred in the hearts of the creation for that person.

‘Whoever Allaah wants good for him, He makes him understand the religion’

Maid in Malaysia

I was reading about the government’s plans to introduce a mandatory 1 day off per week policy among domestic workers in Malaysia. The opposition among employers is not unfounded, given the high rate of runaway maids in the country, with a proportion of the cases linked to agents who ‘re-use’ the maids after the probationary period (when the employer can still claim for refunds and exchanges) is over.

It’s not just a case of whether you’re for or against the day-off policy. Before any such policy is implemented, the government must first consider how it deals with present issues that domestic workers face.

Are the existing support structures adequate for cases of abuse? How are maids protected from employers who exploit them by withholding salaries or sharing them among family members? I realised when going through the process here in SG, the penalties for ‘lending’ my helper to others are high, whereas it’s a common practice in Malaysia for one helper to be shared among family members. As in the Siti Hajar case, her only recourse was to run to her own embassy. What if this happened to a domestic worker in Terengganu? Are the police there capable or willing to give assistance, given the fact that they seem helpless when it comes to helping out locals with simple crimes like burglaries.

The next thing the government needs to consider is what these foreign domestic workers will do on their day off? Public transportation in Malaysia has huge drawbacks and most new housing estates aren’t even serviced by bus companies. Single local women who walk home from bus stops often become victims of snatch thieves and molesters, what would become of foreign women who are new to the country, have no other local acquaintances other than their agents and employers and whose own village back home may be vastly different from the metropolis that they now reside in?

My Indonesian helper gets a day off at least once a month. She leaves early Sunday morning and comes home before Maghrib on her own, because the bus and MRT system is efficient, safe and can take her to wherever she needs to go. She comes home before nightfall mainly because she doesn’t like being out alone at night. When she’s out, she meets friends at her embassy or at events the various agents organise around the island. Sometimes there are Indonesian themed events, like expos or concerts which she finds out about via Starhub’s news SMSes.

It takes a lot to form a support structure when you’re in a new country. Even as a foreign student, it’s not easy to go out there and ‘mingle’. Foreign students get into enough trouble that universities have special induction programmes to brief them on local laws, their rights and where they can go for help or for friends. Indonesian maids are not unlike foreign students, with the exception that they are already at a severe disadvantage (language/education/finances etc) in their host country.

Agents in Malaysia can charge as much as RM8000 in fees and maids often have to forgo wages for months as part of the package.In SG, the most I’ve heard an agent charge is SGD2000 with running costs of SGD250/month (for non-citizens/PRs) as maid levy payable to the government. Maids here now forgo about 6 months of wages when they first arrive in Singapore and there is a local NGO similar to Tenaganita that runs a shelter for domestic workers who have issues with their employers and are awaiting Ministry of Manpower (MOM) resolution. These shelters provide employment assistance and skills training. My helper, proficient in English, was runner for them during her own stint at the shelter. She helped Indonesian maids new in Singapore and who can’t speak fluent English go about their affairs with MoM and the police (in abuse cases).

The story isn’t as simple as ‘pressing ahead despite opposition’ as the government has stated in the press. Yes, maids are humans too, they need a rest day, an opportunity to socialise and as women in a foreign (and increasingly lawless country), protection that should be accorded to all women.

Doting Brother - Story Time for Hannan

Idris came home from school today all excited to see his sister. He announced that it’s Story Time, which means he gets to read a story to whomever he wishes. He first picked up a cloth book, but the story of ABC 123 is too short, so he went off to get another book from the library.

“I get you another book Baby Hannan. Stay here, OK?”

storytime_hannan

So here he is, reading a board book about cars to his little sister. He thought she might be able to see the pictures better if he placed the book over her face. He did fine for a while, till he lost balance and dropped it on her head.

Big Brother, Little Sister

As per various announcements on Facebook, we are now a family of four. Idris has been taking to his new responsibilities as a big brother quite well, he even proudly wore the ‘I’m the Big Brother’ T-shirt that Auntie PY and Uncle VJ bought for him, while hovering protectively over Baby Hannan and her belongings (one of which is a Baby Bjorn Baby Sitter that seems to attract curious toddler visitors to no end!).

hannan_idris hannan_outing

This affection is not without the bouts of the usual mischief one would expect from siblings.

On one occasion, I left Hannan in her cot happily engrossed with the toys hanging on the mobile above. Along comes Abang Idris (or as he says it, Adam Idris), who proceeded to dismantle each toy one by one, placing them around Baby Hannan’s head. I guess he knew that this would annoy her, because he quickly ran from the scene when she made a big fuss.

On another evening when we were at Kak Sarina’s place, we placed Hannan in one of the rooms to sleep away from the noisy toddlers. The door was open so that we could keep an eye on her. She was sleeping peacefully for at least half an hour when we heard a shriek. Witnesses reported that Idris snuck up on her, and yanked her foot, and quickly fled the scene.

It’s all pretty harmless, he hasn’t tried to twist her arm off or poke her eye, although at times, it’s obvious that she’s pretty annoyed with the vigorous kisses he rains upon her chubby cheeks. We know he loves her, and he showed her as much last night when he found his hoola hoop and made a big wheel (he insists that 1 big wheel is enough, she has two wheels on her cot as it is…) for her ‘car’.